The hardest question I have ever received came from my therapist.
She simply asked; are you living through your wounds, or your scars?
This single question made me look within myself, and ask have I allowed myself to heal so my trauma becomes a scar, or was I simply just living within my wound?
This thought forced me to look deeper into my trauma as well as make a conscious decision to take the steps necessary to heal. As we all know scars form as wounds to the skin heal; if we are unwilling to heal from our trauma we will never be able to allow our trauma to turn to a scar. Let’s break it down further. Wounds continue to hurt until they fully heal, wounds left open and untreated become infected, and if the infection is bad enough it begins to spread to other areas. Unhealed wounds are visible to the eye and often a remembrance of the pain experienced.
I had to acknowledge that all of the above was happening within my life. Being a sexual abuse survivor was hurting me on the inside no matter how hard I tried to cover it up by wearing a façade. My wound was temporarily covered by a band aid, but never actually treated to heal. To add insult to injury my trauma was seeping into other areas of my life. I couldn’t maintain healthy relationships or friendships. I was always angry and ready to argue no matter how small the situation was. I was toxic, but truth is my infection was spreading because it was left untreated.
It was when I started going to therapy and allowing myself to go through the butterfly effect as I transformed from victim to survivor that I realized a few things for survivors:
· We must first acknowledge our wounds. Failure to acknowledge our wounds leaves them open and untreated.
· We must then start the process of treating our wound. Treatment does not mean throwing a band aid over it, and acting as if it doesn’t exist for covering the wound is temporary, and once the band aid is removed the reminder of the pain is visible again.
· We must truly treat the wound and allow it to heal completely. If it was a wound on the skin we would add alcohol to clean it followed by Neosporin so it heals correctly. In this instance; when dealing with trauma we must be willing to attend therapy which is our alcohol. This begins the process of cleaning our trauma by digging deep, and allowing us to touch the dirty surfaces we have forgotten about. We must follow up with Neosporin which can be anything from a coach who cheers us on as we continue throughout our journey to a peer support group of fellow survivors who we lean on for moral support and constant growth.
· Once our wound has healed and turns into a scar, or as I like to say once we transform from victim to survivor we must remember although the visual is there it is faint, and we no longer need to succumb to the trauma of our past.
So I turn the question to you and ask….are you living within your wounds, or your scars?
Leave your comments below and don’t forget to like, follow, and share. You never know who this may help!
To book a one on one coaching session today visit www.speakourtruth.org. Allow us to be your Neosporin as you allow your wounds to heal and become scars. I love you and talk to you soon.